The Process

The process of getting VSG took a long, long time.

I officially began the process in May 2011, and had my surgery December 19, 2011. Sometimes, I swore it would never happen, but I am glad for all of the things I had to go through to do it.

First, there's the information session with the doctors to learn about the various types of weight loss surgery (WLS), and then you meet with the doctor to see if you're a candidate. Generally, you have to be at least 100lbs overweight for them to consider you. Once you've met with the doctor, they'll start the process of trying to get you approved, but you have to meet the requirements set forth by your insurance company - in my case, it was Blue Cross Blue Shield. They did not require that I do any dieting or weight loss before the surgery took place, which was good. I don't know if I could have done it, to be honest.

I did, however, have to go through a psychological evaluation. It sucked. First, I sat in a room with a psychologist who asked me questions about a paper questionnaire I had filled out. I had to spill intimate details about my life to him (and yes, I could have lied, but who would THAT have helped?), and then I had to take this massive paper test to see where I scored on that crazy scale....and THEN I had to do an in-person test with a nurse who asked me a series of questions. All of this, I can imagine, is designed to try to catch if you're in a state of serious depression and need help BEFORE you go cutting your stomach out, if you can handle the potential stress of the surgery, and if you're mentally ready to make changes. It's arduous.

Then, because the psychologist decided I had some things that alarmed him, I had to see an eating behaviorist. She and I talked about WHY I ate my feelings away, and if I understood that's what I did (I did). At the end of it, she cleared me for the surgery.

Sprinkled in between, there were other information seminars and visits to my primary that I had to make. I also had to have an endoscopy to check my GI tract since I had issues with heartburn and the like. Not fun. That isn't the case with everyone though, and your experience will be unique to you.

Before surgery, you are also required to be on a liquid diet for 2 weeks (well, this depends on your doctor, but you'll have some kind of pre-surgery regimen). It sucks. No, it more than sucks. It is the WORST thing on the entire planet. I'm 9 months out and I STILL cannot drink those shakes, just to put that into perspective for you. Just the thought of them makes me want to gag. Did I mention that it sucked? ;) Ugh. But, STICK TO IT, because that's the worst of it. It gets better from there. You lose weight on it, AND it means you're one step closer to eating solid food again. Aren't you thrilled to hear that? ;)

Generally, your hospital stay is only a night, maybe two. You will be up walking around the first day. Another thing that sucks is the gas from the surgery. You may also be in pain when you wake up. It's normal. You'll get the pain meds and then everything will be all right again. Trust me on this - I waited a long time for pain meds, and I was literally MOANING in pain. I didn't know how someone moaned in pain until I was the one doing it. But, I made it out alive. You will, too. :)  Also, make sure you get the nausea patch for after the anesthesia. The crippling nausea I felt was from that, more than anything else, and if you've never had anesthesia, I would suggest getting the patch as a precaution. There is nothing on this earth that's worse than dry heaving after stomach surgery. It hurts like a biotch, and you're afraid things are going to burst (they won't...but, still..you worry about these things).

Before you leave the hospital, you'll be required to drink the contrast and go through the GI test -I cannot think of what it's called...but OMG IT'S AWFUL!! Truly, it is probably the worst thing to happen to me throughout the entire process. I cried. I dry heaved (again, NOT FUN). I cried some more. I gagged. I sobbed. I dry heaved. Are you seeing a pattern yet? I finally got enough down that they could see the path inside of me and could say for sure that I wasn't bleeding internally and everything was good post-op. Seriously, can't they put that shit into a pill? I mean COME ON. Give it to someone who's nausea is already epic, with a little tummy, and you want them to drink like 4 cups of contrast?

Yeah, right. I bet you also want to cure cancer and world hunger in the same weekend, amirite? ;)

Oy. No, I'm not bitter. LOL

Anyway, once you're home, you get to rest, eat popsicles, and probably realize that you've dropped 25-30lbs. If you're a woman, I am SO SORRY, but you're going to get the heaviest, most horrendously miserable period of your ENTIRE LIFE within a few days of your surgery. Why is this? Well, because fat holds onto estrogen... as you're losing fat, estrogen is being released into the body, it thinks shit is going down, and BAM...ladies and gentlemen, we've got a bleeder!! Just be warned. Get some of those super thick pads before you hunker down in recovery. You will need them. Don't try to contort to use tampons, that, and you'll need to replace them every hour anyway, so it's just not worth it.

You will also notice that your skin is breaking out like a teenagers, particularly on your chest and back. I had the worst case of bacne on the planet right after surgery...I mean, it physically hurt. One of my friends asked me if I had back herpes -it was THAT bad (not funny, either!!). Tags on my clothing irritated it, and there was just no relief --- at least until I started using 'Crack the Whip' from Lush Cosmetics on my back. Its this black bar with fruit and charcoal in it, and it changed my life. It cleared up my back and chest and helped me get back to normal. It looks really weird and unappealing, but trust me when I tell you, you won't regret it.

That's all for now. If you have questions, feel free to post them in the comments.

In love and light,
Jenn